Monday, October 11, 2010

The New





I know I'm in a funk when I can't stop my trigger finger from clicking "CONFIRM PURCHASE" for 3 days in a row. It seems that any self-control I have can only be directed in one direction at a time, and since I'm working overtime to logic/delude/assuage myself into...whatever it is I'm doing, I'm not even sure..I no longer have any self-restraint on the shopping frontier.

When I get my cc bill, there will be some regret, but for now, why HELLO pretty new clothes! Would you like some new friends to join you soon? OKAY.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Once Upon A Time

There was a cup and a saucer, and though they were different colors and mismatched, somehow, they ended up as a set. They traveled together, from house to house, garage sale to flea market, for many years. Each hand they passed through had a pair of lips that would smile fondly at the odd coupling of the cup and saucer. Each hand also eventually dropped one or the other, made an attempt to mend it, and then inevitably passed the set on. The paint was chipped, the prints were faded, and time wore down their differences in appearance, so that they seemed to match more and more.

One day, the hands who then held the set realized that the many cracks and the uneven and imperfect fixes had made the cup and the saucer unsuitable for one another; they no longer fit together, however auspiciously they had managed to make it work in the past. There were only two options, as getting rid of them completely just seemed unnecessary and wasteful: separate the two and use them as individually flawed pieces, or break them both completely and re-make each. There was no guarantee that putting the broken pieces back together would enable the cup and the saucer to fit together again, but it was their only chance.

So they waited. There was no patience or impatience involved in the waiting, as they were simply a cup and a saucer. They sat in the corner of a cupboard, with every intention of somehow being fixed and being useful again, whether together or separately, while time covered them with a thick layer of dust.

By the time they were discovered, it was a new hand that saw no value in an old, broken, and mismatched set of a cup and saucer. And so the story ends, with them being shattered beyond repair in the bag of rubbish on the curb, where they now wait to meet an incinerator, to be reborn as ash and mixed so completely together that there can be no distinguishing between the pieces, no need for matching or fitting. A cup and a saucer no more.

Distant

Has something clicked? Snapped? Crackled? Popped?

Is this fleeting, or have I grown a spine somehow?

It's like a raging hurricane in my heart has been trapped in a sound-proof cage; it roars and crashes, it whips back and forth, still (like Willow Smith's hair...), but I've finally gone deaf. And if it sticks, it might just be a handicap that saves my life.

要好好珍惜自己.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Agree or Disagree?

“The longer I live, the less I trust ideas, the more I trust emotions.”
- louis malle




I'm not so sure how I feel right now, except that a) I've vomited twice tonight, b) my whole body aches, as if gravity (or really strong magnets) is trying to get me to sink into the ground, and c) I'm worried about going to the doctor tomorrow.

Shouldn't Have Had That Caffeine




Apparently, even drinking Coke Zero after 3PM makes my heart race and muscles twitch well into the AM. My body is too susceptible to these kinds of things. So here I am, knowing that I have to wake up in 6 hours for work, looking at 'old' pictures of my and my brother's dogs. "Old" being 4 months ago.

It's sad how fast time goes for some things, and how slowly other things change.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Personal Day





Found the top jacket on TOPSHOP, and it kind of reminds me of the Isabel Marant one that all the fashion people have. Or the Rachel Zoe for QVC one that sold out in a weekend. I want it.

Took a personal day from my internship today...does that make me a bad person? Don't answer that. I spent it watching a lot of TV, shopping online, eating pizza and drinking Coke Zero (Hello, Freshmen 15) and forcing my dog to cuddle with me. Personal day well spent.